21 of the funniest money and stock market quotes EVER

OK, with all the doom and gloom in the world at the moment I thought it a nice change to list my favorite funniest money and stock market quotes.

 

  1. “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
  2. Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale. ~Zig Ziglar
  3. Bear: what your trading account will be after following the hot tips in the financial times.
  4. Bull: what your hedge fund manager is full of.
  5. Bond: what you had with your wife until you pawned her jewellery to fund your account again.
  6. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The optimist sees the glass half full. The day trader just adds whiskey.
  7. Financial markets have a very safe way of predicting the future. They cause it.
  8. Q: Which one of our natural resources will become exhausted first? A: The Taxpayer.
  9. Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls-Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. – Warren Buffett
  10. “Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make.” – Donald Trump
  11. “The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.” – “Trading Places” (1983)
  12. Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” – Spike Milligan
  13. The investor’s chief problem-and even his worst enemy is likely to be himself.” -Peter Lynch.
  14. “Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent” -J Maynard Keynes.
  15. “I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
  16. “If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem, If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” JP Getty.
  17. Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. Arnold Schwarzenegger
  18. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  19. There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. Jack Yelton
  20. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.
  21. Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

The Greece crisis

 I really do feel sorry for the Greeks. For a nation with such a staggering history and such proud people, it’s tragic to see them reduced to more or less begging for money from the EU. The country is in bits; but I’m not sure it is going to get any better for them to […] More

Risk Reward and Compounding

 To make money from the stock market you need to have a bank to trade with. Ok that’s obvious to all, but how do you make the most of what you earn to initially invest in the markets? Well this little quote should help me highlight the formula. Some of you may have heard it […] More

Vince Stanzione seminar 2015

 Well I have finally got round to writing about my day at the Vince Stanzione Seminar. Up against the clock I just made the start. Train delays cost me but luckily I had left early enough. I sat at the back and enjoyed every minute of the day. Vince started the day of with a […] More

Can you make it as a financial trader

 So I managed to get to Vince’s seminar, just… I was the last one in I think on the day but I’m so glad I made it. I’ll do a review of the whole day when I get a chance on Sunday. For now I just want to share with you a website that Vince […] More

There’s always a story

oil crash I only wish I had added to my oil trade… Vince had given the sell signal in his member’s area pre-crash, and what a crash… Oil losing half its price in a year; well nine months actually. But anyone’s bank is only so big so I’m happy to be able to of a least been […] More

Is Google in for a fall

Google chart Google has recently been in the news for manipulating its own search results to out rank its rivals… It really doesn’t surprise me but I still find it a total disgrace. I have said it before Google has got way too big for its boots. What they say goes… but it is now blatantly evident […] More

Vince Stanzione Seminar

sold_out I have been flat out lately… Selling our current house has been quite stressful and with all the other normal day to day activities blogging has had to take a bit of a back burner. It’s funny, but blogging takes so much more time than trading! Vince Stanzione has a seminar coming up and I’d […] More

Best Stock Market Tips From Millionaire Traders

 There may be many rules for becoming a successful financial trader but there are only a handful that most veteran and multimillionaire traders live by. I can follow rules religiously and was able to listen to the advise from Vince’s course and implement it without to much trouble. But there does seem to be golden […] More

Trading on Betfair and Sportsbooks

 Sports’ trading seems to be a winner when it comes to Tax free income but it’s actually far more complicated than trading shares will ever be. You see, when you open a trade with a financial bookmaker you know your worst case scenario upfront. You pay your spread (bookies fee/commission) have your stop loss in […] More