21 of the funniest money and stock market quotes EVER
OK, with all the doom and gloom in the world at the moment I thought it a nice change to list my favorite funniest money and stock market quotes.
- “All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” Spike Milligan.
- Money isn’t the most important thing in life, but it’s reasonably close to oxygen on the “gotta have it” scale. ~Zig Ziglar
- Bear: what your trading account will be after following the hot tips in the financial times.
- Bull: what your hedge fund manager is full of.
- Bond: what you had with your wife until you pawned her jewellery to fund your account again.
- The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The optimist sees the glass half full. The day trader just adds whiskey.
- Financial markets have a very safe way of predicting the future. They cause it.
- Q: Which one of our natural resources will become exhausted first? A: The Taxpayer.
- Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls-Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. – Warren Buffett
- “Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make.” – Donald Trump
- “The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people.” – “Trading Places” (1983)
- Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” – Spike Milligan
- The investor’s chief problem-and even his worst enemy is likely to be himself.” -Peter Lynch.
- “Markets can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent” -J Maynard Keynes.
- “I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.” Douglas Adams.
- “If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem, If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” JP Getty.
- Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. Arnold Schwarzenegger
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. Jack Yelton
- A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.
- Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.